DiGiornio - Cardboard Convenience

When I'm feeling in the mood for pizza, or Stromboli I usually place an order with my local pizzeria, Al's; the cost is reasonable and I can do it online.  Occasionally  I'll buy a Dr. Oeteker flat pizza from my local Giant supermarket since they have a lot of taste and don't bloat you up.  Last night, for some reason I can only blame on mass marketing, I bought a DiGiorno pizza.  We've all seen the ads: Tastes like delivery but it's not, it's Digiorno."  Those ads LIE! (notice the caps).  Now I'm not a great cook, will never be a Chef, or appear on a cooking show, but I do know my way around a kitchen well enough to follow package directions.  The first thing I noticed looking for the directions was a little blurb noting the "wings" included with the pizza "contained no wing meat."  Translation: processed chicken meat from any where, and every where else on the bird except the wings.  I don't eat processed meats because they include a lot of things I don't normally eat, like gristle, and ground bone.  Still I followed the directions and baked them discovered - they had no chicken taste.  This is how I discovered the true reason for the barbecue sauce that was included: it was not supposed to be used as a condiment but rather as a substitute for flavor.

Tastes like cardboard, but it's not

 

As for the pizza, while you could taste the toppings the crust, itself, was far more similar to cardboard than anything else I've eaten in some time.  When I pick up a pizza from Al's it's not stiff, and by stiff I mean that when holding the edge of the crust between my thumb and forefinger, the crust remains horizontal to the table top.  Good pizza crust, unless it's a thin crust, should be supple.  There should be some folding, bendiness about it which lets you chew it in your mouth.  Believe me when I tell you eating the DiGirono Pizza Supreme was like gnawing on cardboard, not that I've ever gnawed on cardboard but believe me as I worked my teeth to the max, that is exactly what I kept thinking.  Of course, when I bought it I knew it was going to end up being nothing more then a frozen pizza, just like every other frozen pizza out there in grocery land.  Sadly they don't even provide much sustenance for the poor since, at least as far as my wallet is concerned, they're fairly pricey.  Just think, for $2 more I could have had a large, hand made Stromboli from Al's or a pizza of the same size.  Face it, the real reason DiGiorno pizzas are popular is not because they taste like delivery pizza, it's because they're convenient as hell.  You can pull them from the freezer, pop them in the oven, and eat 20 minutes later.  That's a sacrifice a lot of people chose to make: cardboard convenience over quality.  I will probably never, ever purchase a DiGirono pizza again.  Thank God for local piaaerias!