Broadway's going to the girls

This past Sunday, while scanning through the NYT on line, I came across an article by Patrick Healy regarding attendance on Broadway.  Evidently the chicks are outnumbering the guys when it comes to filling seats.  Having been involved in theater while in college, I'll not say this completely took me by surprise.  Back then most of the straight guys who bought tickets did so for dating purposes, not because they had a driving desire to see "Once upon a Mattress," or "Damn Yankees."  Knowing this I took a gander at the latest fare on Broadway.  Woah, is it any wonder guys are staying home?  "Bridges of Madison County?"  This was a chick book turned into a chick flick which has now become a chick musical.  "Mamma Mia?"  I don't think I need to explain this one.  If you want guys to start buying tickets, write shows they're going to like.  This also goes for those pudding brain producers who don't know the difference between a 'hit' and a 'tourist attraction.'  They are not synonymous.  If a musical has been in residence at the same theater for two or more consecutive years it needs to be defined as a 'tourist attraction.'  If I remember correctly, "Cats" was the first show to mutate into a true 'tourist attraction.'  I actually paid money to see that show.  I hated it.  It took about fifteen minutes before the cute kitty costumes and makeup became boring as I realized the show was just flash and splash with no meat on the bones.  There are a number of these 'attractions' on Broadway at this time.  A word to the wise, if you have tickets to a show and there's a yellow school bus unloading under the marquis it's an 'attraction,' from overture to bows music.  I suspect these are the shows men are avoiding.

In Mr. Healy's article he mentions sports musicals as a possible way to bring back the waning male audience, or at least this has been the thought of some producers.  There are jello heads out there who find nothing wrong with this line of thinking and have brought "Rocky," the musical to the Broadway Stage. My first thought when I read this was "Holy Shit, are their people out there that damn stupid?"  I asked people at work if they might have an interest in seeing a musical reworking of "Rocky" and every single one of them got this glazed look of confused stupidity on their face.  I informed all of them that at one point in the show a boxing ring slides out into the audience.  None were impressed.  One gentleman scratched his head and asked if it was for a dance sequence.

Going down for the count

Of course I'm sure investors didn't see it that way.  No doubt they heard "Rocky," the musical and thought they were putting their money in the next 'tourist attraction.'

According to Mr. Healy two recent shows, one of which is still playing, that bring out the guys are "Spamalot" and "The Book of Mormon."  I've talked to people who have seen "Spamalot" and claimed it to be hysterical.  While I don't know anyone who has seen "The Book of Mormon," from everything I've read it is filled with smutty humor.  In other words, if you want guys buying tickets because they want to see the show you need to throw in a couple of tittie jokes.  Wouldn't it be funny if the writers of "Rocky" threw in a couple of wisecracks about Adrianne's jugs and ticket sales went through the roof?  I mean, hell, even gay guys will laugh at a good tittie joke.  Of course that would mean the school buses wouldn't be offloading under the marquis, but would that be such a bad thing?  Wouldn't it be better to have people buying tickets because they wanted to see the show, not because it was a tourist attraction?  You know I might have enjoyed "Cats" more if those felines had gotten a little frisky and told a couple of tittie jokes?