Jane's vagina

Well, yesterday was my first day in the new position and I... already had to yell at an associate.  I have a 77 year old woman working for me, whom I'll call Jane, who feels that her age entitles her to do what ever she wants.  Wrong.  She's a cashier, she needs to stay at her register.  Yesterday there were people waiting at her register and... she was nowhere to be found.  Oh, yeah, I found her, helping a customer at the paint desk.  So, I yelled at her.  She got mad, of course.  She doesn't understand she needs to follow the rules, but when you try and explain them to her or enforce them she cries "age discrimination."  This is how it goes.
Two months ago Jane was out on medical, she needed to have a minor surgical procedure done.  She told everybody that she had peed out her vagina.  That's right.  She said she knew this because she used a mirror to look, and that she knows what her vagina looks like.  Personally, I think she was looking at her ass and just didn't know the difference.

Jane's future with the giant retailer I work for looks rather dim.  This has nothing to do with age, but rather customer service and performance.  If you're 98 and can play by the rules, and do just an adequate job there's no problem.  Had she told any customers that she'd peed out her vagina she'd have been out the door.  She needs to stay at her register and not make people wait.  Retail can be relentless.