The Suspensory of it all

So, I got back from Planet Fitness this AM and saw that Bill, one of my Navy buddies, had left a comment for me on Facebook.  After reading his note, I scrolled down to see if there was anything else I might find interesting until I saw and ad for Walmart.  I never shop at Walmart.  In fact I can honestly say there have only been 4 times in my life that I've been in one, and those 4 times were because someone thought I'd like a Walmart gift card for Christmas...   Anyway, not only was there an ad for Walmart my Facebook page, it was for something called a Suspensory, which looked a lot like something a male stripper might use to keep everything tucked safely away.  Since I never click on Facebook ads, I googled it and discovered I was sort of right.  A Suspensory is a testicular support... and evidently only for the testicles since there's a hole in the top / front that's meant for something other than ventilation.

And then I started wondering why I was targeted with this ad - they do that you know?  Look at your browsing history to see if there's something an online retailer can sell you?  Or maybe some sort of universal consciousness had decided I be better suited wearing a Suspensory under my shorts when I went to Planet Fitness.  But then I got to thinking about that little hole....

Anyway, it didn't take long for me to decide that this piece of sportly under apparel was not going to make it into my wardrobe.  Being the curious type, I went Amazon to see if they actually sold Suspensories... they do, with a lot of negative comments, so evidently somebody out there is buying them.  I'll leave you with one person's disillusionment.

I found this item unusable. I don't understand how it's supposed to stay put on one's "junk" without straps that go around the upper thighs like a regular jock strap.