The Man in the Hat

So, I'm off today.  If you missed my little Yippee Skippy dance, I'm sorry.  I'd do it again but, unfortunately, I've too much shit to get done.
Stupid customers started crawling out form under their rocks yesterday and I was on the verge of turning delectably dour when... my shift ended and I got to go home!
Let's see:  there was the man with the crappy phone connection who called to see if we could make a stair runner out of carpet he had left over from an install quite a number of years ago (I looked in the system and he was no longer listed which means it was over 10 years ago).  He didn't like my response... so he asked me about ceiling tile he purchased in 2015.  He got a bit upset when I told him they were only available for purchase from Armstrong, not through the store since we no longer carry that style.
Then there was the woman who called and wanted me to go over her install quote over the phone.  I told her we prefer customers to come into the store and she laid down the law.  "I'm partially handicapped so that's next to impossible."  Of course, she did not have an email copy of the quote and there were issues... many, many issues: there were charges for dismantling platform beds... 3 of them, and wall units, 2 of them (and I'm looking a pictures because our measure techs take pictures of problems).  I pointed out one piece of furniture she said "well, that's just an armoire and it's only a little over 6 feet high (and easily over 4 feet wide).  I did some changes and emailed her a copy of the quote.  I did some changes and emailed her a copy...   She's going to mull over the install.
And then there was the man in the hat.  A tall, black gentleman asked me to cut some blinds for him, on the way to the blind cutter another older, white gentleman stopped me.  "I need information on indoor and outdoor tile." I explained I was going to cut blinds and called another associate, "we have a customer in the tile aisle who has questions about indoor and outdoor tiles."  After cutting the blinds, I was heading towards the flooring desk when the associate I had called stopped me.  "There's no one in the tile aisle."  I looked down the tile aisle... no one there, so I headed back to the Flooring Desk.  As I was getting ready to sit down, I saw the gentleman in the hat had returned, so I went up to him to see if I could help.  "I've been waiting here for an hour," he growled.  Me?  I pulled out the store phone and checked the time I'd called the other associate.  "I'm sorry, but I called for assistance a little over 5 minutes ago, and you weren't in the tile aisle when he got there."  Well, he didn't like that.. at all.  I tried helping him.  Every answer I gave me was wrong.  He objected to everything... because it wasn't what he wanted me to tell him.  "I'll ask at your Pro Desk, they'll have the answers," he said, very angry.  I looked at his hat, and I looked at him, and smiled.  "They're closed on Sunday."  He stormed away.  This is the mentality that voted for the Idiot Jerk in the White House.  That little MAGA hat he wears exemplifies complete failure, and in his mind we are the ones responsible for his being a dumb fuck.