While at my local Giant Supermarket this morning, I saw they had set up their Valentine's Day candy display. Since I plan on buying candy for my 81 year old mom, I strolled down the aisle expecting to see the standard chocolate chickens and bunnies and candy Easter eggs. However, I was more then a little surprised to see "The Perfect Man" among the candies. Of course, he was milk chocolate, but he was only wearing boxer shorts patterned with little red hearts. That's cute, I thought, snapping a picture. It wasn't until I got to their fresh meat section that it struck me as being a little off. Besides straight women and gay men, who else out there would want to eat another man? Where were the chocolate babes with big titties for all those straight men and lesbians who want a sweet treat? Now I happen to work with a pretty boy named Troy who was, unfortunately, born with a voice that modulates up and down like a chicken's. Were I to put a bowl of those chocolate men in the break room, you'd hear him squawking from one of the building to the other: "Where the babes? Where the Babes!?
And you do know that if they did have chocolate babes with big titties for sale, certain women would start cackling about sexism. I'm surprised they only put out milk chocolate, because you know there are certain individuals who prefer dark chocolate and others who want their chocolate white. Or maybe they tried to cover the white chocolate base with the boxers. It sort of puts a new spin on the phrase "eat my shorts." Truthfully, you don't even know what grade of chocolate was used. Good? Bad? And it's just plain chocolate. No nuts.
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