Left Behind

Interesting title, isn't it?  Am I talking about one side of your butt, as in "I have a pain in my left behind cheek?"  Or am I veering into Krazy Kristian territory. Of course, then, I might be talking about something connected to neither butts nor faith.  Remember, I work for a home improvement chain.  There are times when people come into the store and they don't exactly know what they want, but they do have the old item; the thing that broke on them and sent them to us in the first place.  We see a lot of light bulbs from refrigerators and microwaves and oddly shaped desk lamps.  We get a lot of attachments, meaning things that look like screws or bolts but aren't really, yet they do something similar.  Last evening I walked back to our Self Checkout, after closing down some of the service desk registers, and the clerk pointed to a shopping cart and said "That was left behind," and I didn't have to walk over to see exactly what he was talking about.

A toilet seat.  And it was old... and it was dirty.  That's right, some moron evidently needed to bring in his old toilet seat to make sure he got the same thing, as if there's a big variety.  It's either round or it's oval.  And even though they may be made of wood, or plastic, or padded, or purple, or green, they're all the same size.  This is because shitters are all standardized.  Still, someone felt the need to bring their old, dirty, toilet seat and leave it behind... like some lost soul.  Associates are now laughing at this pseudo ignoramus because they brought in an old toilet seat, with crap on it, and...Left It Behind.