From Jack Fruit to Omens

Starting tomorrow I'm scheduled to have some time off and the weather forecast is shitty.  Cool, mid-50's (F), cloudy, in fact Sunday and Monday they're calling for... rain.  Grass grows even in shitty weather.  This is the third year in a row in which April showers arrived a month late, that's called a trend.
Yesterday was Fruit Friday at work.  On the 2nd Friday of every month they bring in fresh fruit for the associates, the standard strawberries, plums, apples, bananas, pears, and blueberries.  They always include one exotic to give us a fresh taste from the world outside the United States.  Yesterday we had Jack Fruit.  It was delicious. 

For those who don't know, exotics fruits are a very good way to identify closet conservatives, those people who quietly wear their MAGA hats in the privacy of their own homes.  You see conservatives will never try anything new.  They will always opt for the apple or the strawberry.  Now and then a slice of banana may cross their lips, but only after being camouflaged in a bowl of cereal.
Okay, and for your haha moment of the day, though I'm sure most of you have already seen this, the Idiot Jerk's blow bro pal Vlad did a nose dive.

And he did it in front of the world!  I'm positive this elicited a high volume shriek from the Idiot Jerk.  "Oh, Vlad! Noooo!"  As for me, I'm wondering if Vlad truly understands what happened.  He didn't just trip over a red carpet.  Nope, he was sent an Omen.  He is going to go down, and the whole world is going to be watching.  For those who don't know, this is called Karma.  The Idiot Jerk's Karma hell will continue for the rest of his life.  He doesn't understand, but his spawn will pay for generations to come.