Heaven in your Mouth

I slept in the morning.   At 0500 my alarm started chirping "good morning, the time is 0500," and I turned it off.  I've a lot planned for today, but I didn't want to get an early start... if that makes any sense.  Neither did the dogs.
Mrs. Puff's house, across the street from mine, has been sold.  And yes, her name was Mrs. Puff.  A U-Haul pulled up in front last night and a couple pieces of furniture were carried in by two men.  The streetlight up around the bend was out, so they didn't have a lot of light.  Of course, the dogs were out barking.  I suspect the truck will return, probably this later this morning or this afternoon.
Sundays are always quiet days for politics, unless the Idiot Jerk in the White House begins Tweeting some sort of bullshit.  I think an interesting thing about this impeachment is the Republicans desperately want to compare it to Clinton's.  Main differences:  they kicked a dead horse for a very long time; Clinton was fairly popular, except among a minority group called Republicans; The 'dot.coms' hit and everybody in the country was making lots & lots of money.  None of those are going to happen. 
And I've been craving coconut custard.  I love coconut.  However, I didn't really feel like putting the effort into baking one.  Instead, I opted for making something akin to a custard / pudding with real whole milk, real eggs, and real butter... and a lot of sugar.  Yum!  I should write this recipe down because this is heaven in your mouth.  In other words, this is calorie Hell.

The chocolate sauce on top (Hershey's, of course) gives it a Mounds Bar flavor.

Heaven on Earth

Don't ask me how Social Security works, I have absolutely no idea how they calculate things, however I do know that they very rarely make mistakes.  I say this because for the 2nd year in a row they've dropped a chunk of change into my checking account.  You see, I am retired even though I'm not old enough to retire.  Three years ago I noticed a weakness in my right leg which continued to worsen until I started falling down... a lot, like 6 times in one day.  Diagnosis?  Severe arthritis in my lower 5 vertebrae - no pain, just no strength.  Thinking I might end up being disabled for the rest of my life I retired.  They were going to perform laminectomies on those 5 vertebrae... until I started to walk again... on my own... without surgery.  I healed myself... at least that's what I think, rerouted the nerves and taught myself how to walk again.  I've been told I walk with a slight limp, and that I don't lift my feet as high as everybody else, but I'm doing up to 50 minutes or more of cardio every other day (except today which is a rest day).  Anyway, Social Security looks at my monthly wages and using their very obtuse calculations decides that I deserve a one time pay out, once a year.
On the Idiot scene, or at least in regard to haters given a position by the Idiot in the White House, there's the Jeff Sessions hate-athon he had with the Alliance Defending Freedom group recently.  Was anybody out there surprised he'd jolly up to such hatred?  I wasn't.  This guy is a part of that all white, Crazy Christian club that aims to have an all white, Crazy Christian America - if you're not one of them then you're against them.  You see, for them, that would be Heaven on Earth:  America the White and Crazy Christian.  And you had better believe that they are nuts!  Was it yesterday that a number of them gathered in the White House and laid their hands on the Idiot in prayer?  They have no idea he's a Christianist.  They believe he's going to help them legislate their hatred into reality, and he will do what they want because they praise him and douse him with accolades.  It's his ego, you see, every time they lay their hands on him, he believes he becomes even more supreme.  What did Forrest say?  "Stupid is as stupid does?"
Well, I'm going to run off and pay my taxes (not fun) and hit the supermarket.  I'm thinking I make bake bread this afternoon.  You know what they say, "it's all in the loaf."

They do say that don't they?  Or is that just Heaven on Earth?

For me, Heaven is....

It's Easter and whoopee ding.  By this, I suppose you can tell that I'm not really a big believer.  The organized, monotheistic religions have too many problems.  For centuries they've been more concerned with controlling behavior patterns then providing a guide to live your life.  They tell you what is right and what is wrong.  I find it inexplicable that Christians, who are supposed to be following the New Testament, consistently rummage through the Old Testament to find scriptures to justify their bias, their bigotry, and their hatred.  Before I bought my house I lived in an apartment.  Tom and Jennifer McGarrity lived below me. He was a nice guy.  She was a Virginia girl, born and raised a Southern Baptist - and she could quote verbatim scripture justifying slavery.  Oh, and she was sure she was going to go to heaven.  And she's not alone.  This practice is just as rampant today as has been, for centuries.
I have a problem with people who say all life is sacred.  They fight against birth control, against a woman's choice to have a child or not - every baby is a blessing from God, unless, of course, your a Muslim, or a Jew, or Buddhist, or Hindu - then there's nothing sacred about you.  See, it's about controlling behavior patterns.
Then there's the 'living for eternity" bit.  Why would anybody want eternal life - especially when no one really knows what that eternal life is going to be like?  My Mom thinks Heaven is like a big family reunion.  Personally, I think you'd have to be pretty mindless to sit through an eternal family reunion.  What would you talk about?  Of course, maybe people don't talk in Heaven, maybe they just sit there... happy... not thinking.  My friend Betsy likes to believe that we're all going to end up as shimmering beams of light... shimmering forever.
This may come as a big shock, but I don't need to live forever.  I don't need to be a shimmering beam of light, or listen to my Uncle Bobby telling me stories.  I also know that's frightening for a lot of people, to think that when their consciousness shuts down there is nothing more.  It's because we can't even begin to imagine not thinking.

When I do die, I want to be cremated - it's in my will, and everybody knows this.  They also know I'd like to have some of my ashes shot out in to space - there's a company that does this for a fee.  I want the rest of my ashes to be mixed with those of my dogs and have them scattered along the nature trail we walk in the park.  A long time ago I realized that's where I'm happiest, and so it's a fitting place for me.  I don't need eternity because I'm happy now.

Eternity without a Break

My 82 year old mother is constantly berating me about my lack of religion, in fact, if I had a nickle for every time she's told me I need to find Jesus I could buy myself a really, really good bottle of wine.  This doesn't mean I don't want to be religious, it's just that in my mind there are several issues, one of the most important being the thing about 'everlasting life.'  I don't understand why anyone would want to have everlasting life, especially since you don't know what you're going to be doing.  The Bible isn't very specific about either Heaven or what you're going to be doing when you get there.  My Mom thinks it's going to be like an eternal family reunion.  Me?  I hate family reunions.  All everybody does is either talk about themselves or someone else, you know gossip, and it will never stop, it will go on forever, and ever, and ever.
My friend Hennie could sum up Heaven in one word: Bingo.

That's right, Bingo.  She loves to shout out "Bingo!"  People are warned to not get her started on the subject because she has adventure, after adventure, after adventure poring over her Bingo cards.  Me?  Hey, I like Bingo, but there's no way I'd want to play it forever.  I can't even imagine some never-ending caller shouting out numbers.  In fact, I can't think of one single thing I'd like to spend the rest of eternity doing, even playing Video Games, and I do like my Video Games.  It would mean never, ever being able to say, "gimme a break."