Just call me pompous |
When you hit middle age you really only have two choices: you can get fat and lazy until you roll over and die, or you can can get off your ass and do something, like maybe ride a bike.
Bluntness
I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Update on Little Eddie Snowden
I did sit down and listen to one of the snippets of the Brian Williams interview with Little Eddie Snowden. Accountability, you know? Since I've written something about him, I ought at least hear him out... or at least listen to a few minutes of what it is he has to say to see if there is any value. While I watched the entire clip, it took me only about 20 seconds to realize he really is a pompous, little, twerp. The way he inflected his voice every time he said "I," told me the interview was more about self-promotion then anything else. He really does think he is the ultimate hero, the savior of privacy and freedom, and the citizens of the United States need to give him his due thanks. What makes his position so ludicrous is that he's living in Russia, that paradise of a country where the government is trying to annex the Ukraine. One can only wonder if Snowden comprehends that the State Security system in Russia makes the NSA look like a quilting party, where bits and pieces of information gleaned from Verizon, et al. are stitched together in an attempt to create a cohesive picture. I think not. In fact, I suspect he is too overwhelmed by his righteous indignation to understand anything which falls outside his tiny orbit.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Toying with Eddie Snowden
A lot of people have watched Brian William's interview with Edward Snowden. Evidently, by using #patriot or #traitor, you could vote your opinion and, if I read the chart correctly, patriot beat traitor by a hair. I didn't watch the interview, nor did I read any transcripts - I just don't find it that interesting. The fact that the NSA was attempting to collect vast amounts of data on people is not a good thing. However, the fact that they were going to Google, and Verizon, and Yahoo, and AT & T, just to name a few of the corporations, in order to gather this data pretty much makes the whole thing moot. You have no secrets from your Internet provider. They know not only your IP address, but the addresses of every website you look at, and how long you're on those sites. I'm sure they don't, but if they wanted to, they could speculate whether you're a quickie or not, or whether your favorite color was teal. Every conversation you make on your phone is digitalized and saved somewhere. This doesn't mean it's easily located, but it's there.
I will admit to being taken by surprise by one thing. I noticed it in the picture taken of Mr. Williams and Mr. Snowden, apparently during the interview, that unless Brian Williams is 7 feet tall, Ed Snowden is rather petite.
I will admit to being taken by surprise by one thing. I noticed it in the picture taken of Mr. Williams and Mr. Snowden, apparently during the interview, that unless Brian Williams is 7 feet tall, Ed Snowden is rather petite.
Now I know there are those of you out there who are going to say that forced perspective was used in order to make him look smaller, more vulnerable, more meek. Nah, the guy's tiny, probably 5' 4" in heels. This begs one to wonder if, perhaps, in truth, he's neither a patriot nor a traitor. Might not he instead be suffering from a Napoleonic Complex, also known as 'short man's syndrome?" Some men, who find they are staturely challenged, feel the need to do something in a big way in order to make themselves seem 10' tall. Little Eddie want to be our privacy protector. You have to admit, he's made a big name for himself. His broad shoulders will carry the day.
Okay, so they're not that broad. Remember, in his mind he's saving the United States from a fate worse then death. Personally, I'd rather he fixed Facebook so I wouldn't be subjected to ads and products I have no desire to buy, or top trending stories that always seem to trend away from my interest. Maybe he could stop apps from asking for too much personal information. Do they really need access to my contact list? Well, they don't all ask for that, only the ones I seem to want. Of course you know I'm really just toying with Eddie. I'll bet he's a really nice guy.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
The Girls
Every time I have a day off the weather tends to be crappy here in Central Pennsylvania, and today is my day off. Right now the temperature is hovering around 61 degrees Fahrenheit, which is cool for this time of year. Oh, and it's one of those drizzling, steady rain type of days, too. This is not a good day for lawn work, and, as a home owner, lawn work is one of those essential chores. Grass grows faster when the weather is like this, sometimes so fast you can almost hear it. I'm off tomorrow as well so hopefully the forecast will be accurate and it will be warmer and dryer.
A lot of people would use a day like this to catch up on their sleep, or maybe read a good book, or even watch an old movie on TCM. I know if it weren't for the girls I'd be tempted to do one of those three things. But I do have the girls, and they do keep my busy. They're quite right now, napping; too much playtime already today. Of course, they will wake soon and playtime will recommence until it's dinner time. They slow down for that, too.
Who are the girls? Gertie and Lilly, my Boxers. Gertie is the oldest at 4.5 years, Lilly will be 10 months old in two weeks. Every day she reminds Gertie and myself how much of a puppy she still is.
A lot of people would use a day like this to catch up on their sleep, or maybe read a good book, or even watch an old movie on TCM. I know if it weren't for the girls I'd be tempted to do one of those three things. But I do have the girls, and they do keep my busy. They're quite right now, napping; too much playtime already today. Of course, they will wake soon and playtime will recommence until it's dinner time. They slow down for that, too.
Who are the girls? Gertie and Lilly, my Boxers. Gertie is the oldest at 4.5 years, Lilly will be 10 months old in two weeks. Every day she reminds Gertie and myself how much of a puppy she still is.
Lilly at 3 months |
Friends know her as "The Jaws of Death," because everything goes into her mouth, especially when she's having a growth spurt, like right now. She has become a voracious eating machine. At times like this the best thing to do is to keep her fed and wait and see how much she's going to grow.
Boxers come in all shapes and sizes. Gertie is a full sized Boxer, and tips the scale at nearly 80 pounds. Females usually weigh-in at around 60 pounds, so she is big. Her head is about the size of one of those personal watermelons. Because of this a lot of people shy away from us when I take her for a walk in the park. She's actually a big baby. I doubt if Lilly, in spite of her appetite, will get as big. She will most likely be closer to the average size female, though it's difficult to say. At 9.5 months she weighs in at 52 pounds.
Is it dinner time yet? |
They play a lot and playtime always consists of barking, and growling, and chasing each other all over the house. For the uninitiated, it can be rather frightening; this is a lot of poundage jumping around. And of course they do box, which is always difficult to explain, since they don't really box, but they do stand on their hind legs and chest butt each other. And when they're finished playing they have to take a nap so they can do it all again. They are a lot of fun. They are my girls.
Quiet time |
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Dr. Robi - jello and jewelry
I do have to say a couple of words about Dr. Robi. She has been described by some as a "pop psychiatrist." Me? I think she's a jello head, I mean you can almost picture it wobbling around inside of her skull when she speaks.
First of all, I have a problem with so-called professional people using a catchy nickname in their attempt to be friendly. While I'm friendly with my personal physician, I don't want to call him Dr. Bennie, and I don't think he would like me doing so. He spent a lot of years earning that degree and, I'm sure, likes the formality which goes with the title. It's a demonstration of respect. I can almost hear her saying "If I let you call me Dr. Robi, will you still respect me in the morning?" The answer is no. In fact I don't respect her now.
Secondly, she appears on tacky reality shows attempting to be an expert, where her tactics and her evaluations seem to have more to do with ratings then anything else. Is she smart, or just good at sounding smart. There are quite a number of people out there who know just enough to be damn good bullshit artists, but that bullshit is just veneer and easily hosed off. It wouldn't surprise me if her specialty of bullshit is psychotherapy.
Thirdly, there is her education. This is where the "pop psychiatrist" bit comes in. She started off okay by going to the University of Pennsylvania. However, she didn't get her doctorate from that prestigious school. She earned her doctorate through a correspondence course from a school I've never heard of: California Southern University. This means she is not a Phoenix and will never do a commercial for them. Now, I don't know about you, but I feel those individuals who want to validate themselves as "doctors" need to sit in classrooms, where there is a one to one interaction between themselves and their professors, and their fellow students, where ideas can be bounced off of each other in real time. Corresponding through email just doesn't do it, neither does earning a doctorate that way.
This jello head recently made a fool of herself on national television by diagnosing Elliot Rodgers simply by watching his YouTube videos (can you hear that jello wobble). Reality has come home to roost. She's nothing more then a TV personality impersonating a Doctor.
What makes this even more pathetic is that she sells rotten jewelry.
First of all, I have a problem with so-called professional people using a catchy nickname in their attempt to be friendly. While I'm friendly with my personal physician, I don't want to call him Dr. Bennie, and I don't think he would like me doing so. He spent a lot of years earning that degree and, I'm sure, likes the formality which goes with the title. It's a demonstration of respect. I can almost hear her saying "If I let you call me Dr. Robi, will you still respect me in the morning?" The answer is no. In fact I don't respect her now.
Secondly, she appears on tacky reality shows attempting to be an expert, where her tactics and her evaluations seem to have more to do with ratings then anything else. Is she smart, or just good at sounding smart. There are quite a number of people out there who know just enough to be damn good bullshit artists, but that bullshit is just veneer and easily hosed off. It wouldn't surprise me if her specialty of bullshit is psychotherapy.
Thirdly, there is her education. This is where the "pop psychiatrist" bit comes in. She started off okay by going to the University of Pennsylvania. However, she didn't get her doctorate from that prestigious school. She earned her doctorate through a correspondence course from a school I've never heard of: California Southern University. This means she is not a Phoenix and will never do a commercial for them. Now, I don't know about you, but I feel those individuals who want to validate themselves as "doctors" need to sit in classrooms, where there is a one to one interaction between themselves and their professors, and their fellow students, where ideas can be bounced off of each other in real time. Corresponding through email just doesn't do it, neither does earning a doctorate that way.
This jello head recently made a fool of herself on national television by diagnosing Elliot Rodgers simply by watching his YouTube videos (can you hear that jello wobble). Reality has come home to roost. She's nothing more then a TV personality impersonating a Doctor.
What makes this even more pathetic is that she sells rotten jewelry.
I have no idea who in the world would even buy this crap. This is suppose to make you "dream big?" If she was half as good of a psychotherapist as she thinks she is, she'd look at this ad and have herself committed.
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Memorial Day Blues
Well, the Memorial Day weekend is upon us and I, as usual, am working. This is one of the limitations of retail; holidays cease to exist. Except for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I work every holiday. Is there any better time to have a sale? Are you kidding me? Especially the Memorial Day weekend, which makes Black Friday look rather limpid. This is the beginning of "cook out" season, and you can't have an old grill if you're going to have guests over for burgers and dogs, and you can't have them sitting on last year's faded patio furniture, and if everything isn't in bloom it needs to have been freshly planted. Those shutters hanging around your windows? They're looking a bit drab, aren't they, why not spruce them up with a fresh coat of paint, something to give your curb appeal a little extra pop. And don't forget the deck, if you have one, won't your friends think it looks resplendent in a new coat of stain? Last year the popular shade was Padre Brown, this year it seems to be Russet, yeah, like in the potato.
As always happens, sales bring in lots of customers hunting for that great deal. There's usually a rebate on paints and stains, so many wait until this holiday to buy. This means the paint desk gets very, very busy. It was over the Memorial Day weekend last year a customer told me I ought be fired because I wasn't fast enough. You see I was back in the primer aisle answering another customer's questions about primer, which meant I couldn't be out front helping the other associates tint stains, and there was a line. Every customer gets treated the same, no preferential treatment, that's unfair. Anyway, this customer was upset because she felt she shouldn't have to wait. The first thing she said to me was "I hope yesterday was your first day on the job," and of course things only got worse. The inexpensive stain she and her husband had bought two years ago was no longer available, and the inexpensive stain we did carry was not covered by the rebate because it was already cheap. And, of course, the Padre Brown she wanted tinted lighter then the Padre Brown she wanted, which was when she grabbed a Head Cashier, thinking he was management, and told him "This man needs to be fired. He's terrible. You need to fire this man." So I turned her over to a very capable associate who has a knack for fixing stains. At that point the customer said "you have twenty seconds to fix this." I really wanted to grab a 2 x 4 and wait for her out in the parking lot, but I didn't. I remained cordial and polite through out the whole episode. They cut the price of the stain in half to shut her up, or at least get her to tone down her volume, which is the only thing she accomplished. You know I don't believe she actually understood how embarrassing she was to herself, that people were not behind her but were, instead, walking away.
We get at least one customer like this every Memorial Day.
As always happens, sales bring in lots of customers hunting for that great deal. There's usually a rebate on paints and stains, so many wait until this holiday to buy. This means the paint desk gets very, very busy. It was over the Memorial Day weekend last year a customer told me I ought be fired because I wasn't fast enough. You see I was back in the primer aisle answering another customer's questions about primer, which meant I couldn't be out front helping the other associates tint stains, and there was a line. Every customer gets treated the same, no preferential treatment, that's unfair. Anyway, this customer was upset because she felt she shouldn't have to wait. The first thing she said to me was "I hope yesterday was your first day on the job," and of course things only got worse. The inexpensive stain she and her husband had bought two years ago was no longer available, and the inexpensive stain we did carry was not covered by the rebate because it was already cheap. And, of course, the Padre Brown she wanted tinted lighter then the Padre Brown she wanted, which was when she grabbed a Head Cashier, thinking he was management, and told him "This man needs to be fired. He's terrible. You need to fire this man." So I turned her over to a very capable associate who has a knack for fixing stains. At that point the customer said "you have twenty seconds to fix this." I really wanted to grab a 2 x 4 and wait for her out in the parking lot, but I didn't. I remained cordial and polite through out the whole episode. They cut the price of the stain in half to shut her up, or at least get her to tone down her volume, which is the only thing she accomplished. You know I don't believe she actually understood how embarrassing she was to herself, that people were not behind her but were, instead, walking away.
We get at least one customer like this every Memorial Day.
Ironically, this weekend is a holiday which commemorates the service of our armed forces. It's supposed to be a time to thank them for their service, and I, who am a war Veteran, am always scheduled to work. Not only that, now and then I have to deal with customers who just don't care.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Verizon cracks
After six days of working, I am enjoying the first of 2 days off, though let me tell you, it hasn't all been fun and games. One of the first things I did this morning was call Verizon - the second time in 3 weeks. I first called them on April 23 have decided to switch my TV from FIOS to Direct TV. After talking to them for about 25 minutes they decided to issue me a nice little credit to run for a full year, this was because I'm such a "valued customer." The even sent me an email confirmation to let me know my new monthly payment. When I received the email copy of my bill there was a discrepancy. The total owed to Verizon was higher than I had been quoted - because they had raised the rate for the package I had. That's right, they gave me a credit and then they raised my rate.
So this morning I called them back. The first customer service rep I spoke to pointed out that on my paper bill, on page three, there was a notification that my rate was going to go up starting with this billing cycle. Evidently this is all the notification they need to legally give you. He also informed me this increase had been applied to every one who has the "Elite" package. I suspect every package level had some increase, mine amounted to $5 a month. Now I know some of you are saying that's not a big increase, but it is when you consider gasoline is up 25 cents a gallon since November, and my electric rate went up in February, and the water rate is supposed to go in June.
So this morning I called them back. The first customer service rep I spoke to pointed out that on my paper bill, on page three, there was a notification that my rate was going to go up starting with this billing cycle. Evidently this is all the notification they need to legally give you. He also informed me this increase had been applied to every one who has the "Elite" package. I suspect every package level had some increase, mine amounted to $5 a month. Now I know some of you are saying that's not a big increase, but it is when you consider gasoline is up 25 cents a gallon since November, and my electric rate went up in February, and the water rate is supposed to go in June.
Making Verizon listen |
Anyway, the first CSR couldn't help me so he transferred me to his Supervisor, who couldn't help me either. The Supervisor transferred me to "Retention" because Verizon doesn't really want to lose customers. Retention had me email my confirmation back to them, where upon they approved an adjustment to my rate for the rest of the year. Just think, if I hadn't saved that email, my rate would have gone up because Verizon doesn't care what I'm paying for my 'essential utilities.' Their main concern is keeping their investors happy. Verizon doesn't care how much you pay per gallon of gas, they just want Wall Street to know their profits are going to go up by 5% this year. The $60 adjustment to my bill for this year is not going to show up on their balance sheet. They could do $60,000 in adjustments and it wouldn't show up, in fact they probably do.
The sad thing is that the vast majority of people who see this rate increase will simply say "oh, shit" and reach for the check book. They'll piss and moan about how everything is costing more and do absolutely nothing. I don't understand why so many find it so easy to become sheep. A year from now I will probably end up switching to Direct TV because it is less expensive. Unless, of course, Verizon decides to give me another rate adjustment, which they just might.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Godzilla - fun and destruction
I went to see "Godzilla" last evening... and liked it. Of course, I have always been a fan of monster movies, especially where monsters roam the planet and cities are devastated. I've seen a number of silly reviewers complaining about the actresses getting short shrive, their performances being stereotypical. As are the actors, the actresses are only needed to advance the plot. They are not pivotal. In fact I don't even see their complaint as even remotely valid. If you're going to see this film simply because Juliette Binoche, or Sally Hawkins, or Elizabeth Olson are in it, you're going for the wrong reason. The star of the movie is Godzilla. If you go to see it because Sally Hawkins is in it, you're likely to be disappointed. She does a really good job at being an accessory, but then that's all she's supposed to be. If, after watching this film, the only thing you talk about is her performance, then this movie has failed. That's why it's called "Godzilla." Even Aaron Johnson, who gets star billing, is a minor character. He is an accessory to the fact and nothing more, a witness to the events as they are unfolding.
Sometimes being a non-typical hero is best |
He is the 'stand-in' for every man. He is not your normal hero, the gung-ho soldier with testosterone shooting out every orifice as he dives head first into battle, but rather the quiet man who volunteers because he needs to, because it's the right thing to do.
I suspect that years from now, what audiences will remember most are not the battles and the destruction, instead it will be the parachute drop into San Francisco. Visually it is stunning, it is spectacle without the spectacular: red flares falling like drops of blood. And musically? For those who didn't recognize the background piece, it is "Also Sprach Zarathustra," a tone poem composed by Richard Strauss. If you did recognize it, you're probably remembering it from Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey."
I don't usually purchase movies but I may purchase this because it was fun. I have a friend who still hasn't seen it so I may end up going to see it a 2nd time, which wouldn't be a bad thing.
Friday, May 16, 2014
GODZILLA... Can you hear me roar?
In anticipation, I started looking at the movie reviews a while back, not because I value their opinions, rather it's the 15 and 20 second clips the studio gives them, clips not usually incorporated into the official and unofficial trailers. Because of this habit of mine, I do tend to glance over the reviews. Usually the first sentence tells me if they loved the film or hated the film. With Godzilla the biggies didn't care for it, by biggies I mean the New York Times and the LA Times. NPR, on the other hand, liked it. So did Leonard Maltin. Check out Rotten Tomatoes if you want to get a more accurate idea of what people think.
One of the things I did find amusing in the reviews I'd checked out was that the Wall Street Journal gave it a bad review. This movie is going to make a lot of money, it made 9.3 million in the late night Thursday shows alone. Box Office Mojo thinks, world wide, it will end up in the 500 to 600 million dollar range till all is said and done. Wouldn't you think the Wall Street Journal would want to give it kick, a little boost, hoping it might earn another couple of million more? Maybe their reviewer doesn't like Warner Brothers and thought he might sour profits by a couple of million. Or, could be he's just enraptured with next week's release of X-Men: Days of Future Passed.
A word of warning to those who might decided to check out some of the "biggie' reviews (they're all available at Rotten Tomatoes). These reviewers like to reveal spoilers to prove their points... and they don't always warn you. Some pudding head by the name of A.O. Scott at the New York Times actually gives away a major plot element. When I'd read what he'd written I thought "what a dick head." Was the information he revealed essential in validating his review of the film? Absolutely not. Will it ruin the movie for me? Hell No! Yo! Godzilla! Can you hear me ROAR!?
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Love and Hate in Arkansas
I know there are a lot of gay people out there who are all kinds of happy, happy because a judge in Arkansas has ruled in favor of gay marriage. Well, I just want to interject a little temperance into the jubilation. While 53% of Americans either approve of gay marriage, or are neither for nor against it, 47% oppose it. The vast majority of that 47% live in the deep south, the heart of the Bible Belt, and also the stronghold of the Republican Party. Since many of these people still have not reconciled themselves to the reality of the Civil Rights Movement the concept of Gay Rights is a true horror. Their religion has legitimized this hate for as long as they can remember. Let me give you an example.
Thirty some odd years ago I joined the Navy and went to both Boot Camp and 'A' School up at Great Lakes Training Center. There was always a notice on the school bulletin board about 'free box lunches' - you could get a free box lunch by getting on a van and going to a Baptist Church in downtown Chicago. One Sunday some friends and I decided to take advantage of the offer. It was an eye opener. The focus of the Sermon was not on God's love, but on men who play piano. I was stunned as the Pastor told the congregation that 'men who play piano sit on the bench in a funny way.' He went on to say how none of his sons would ever learn to play the piano because he would not want them sitting like that. He claimed that 'those men' are a blemish in God's eye and because of this they are to be despised. Of course he had no idea that I both played the piano and was gay, and because of that could feel the hatred he was feeding his flock. We all know this was not an isolated sermon. Unfortunately, I suspect this Pastor was on the mild side since his church was in Chicago.
Thirty some odd years ago I joined the Navy and went to both Boot Camp and 'A' School up at Great Lakes Training Center. There was always a notice on the school bulletin board about 'free box lunches' - you could get a free box lunch by getting on a van and going to a Baptist Church in downtown Chicago. One Sunday some friends and I decided to take advantage of the offer. It was an eye opener. The focus of the Sermon was not on God's love, but on men who play piano. I was stunned as the Pastor told the congregation that 'men who play piano sit on the bench in a funny way.' He went on to say how none of his sons would ever learn to play the piano because he would not want them sitting like that. He claimed that 'those men' are a blemish in God's eye and because of this they are to be despised. Of course he had no idea that I both played the piano and was gay, and because of that could feel the hatred he was feeding his flock. We all know this was not an isolated sermon. Unfortunately, I suspect this Pastor was on the mild side since his church was in Chicago.
I always like to lean towards the side of caution. Changing a law does not change the hearts and minds of the people. Just because you can now marry legally in Arkansas doesn't mean some pudding head isn't going to burn down your house in the middle of the night. One of the sad facts of life is that the vast majority of hate crimes in the deep south are never reported out of fear of repercussion. So, if you're sitting comfortably in your Democratic suburb, you need to remember these people have a hate which has been legitimized by their faith since birth. I think the best thing we can do at this point in time is to be cautious in our optimism. Only time will tell what effects this change of law will truly have in regards to love and hate in Arkansas.
Friday, May 9, 2014
Will you fail at multitasking?
I've written about this before, mostly regarding people who drive and talk on their phones at the same time. There are many who think multitasking isn't as difficult as it seems, especially if you happen to be female. This is because some pudding head researchers have deduced that men and women think differently. Men compartmentalize their activities completing one before moving on to the next. Women, on the other hand, don't compartmentalize. As a result many of them think they can multitask, like brush their teeth and put on eye makeup at the same time. That, I think, would be really funny to watch. Anyway, there are a lot of people out there, both men and women, who feel they can drive and talk on the phone at the same time. Surprise, you're wrong. Think of it this way, if you're involved in a casual phone conversation where you only need to respond minimally, you're driving the same as if you'd just had two or three glasses of wine, say a good Shiraz. This doesn't mean you're beginning to weave back and forth, it's just that your concentration is just not there. The more detailed your phone conversation the worse your driving becomes.
This is not me |
I'll be the first to admit that I don't multitask well at all. If you don't want to believe me, you can ask the people I work with, they'll be too happy to corroborate. However, I can get quite a number of tasks done if work on them consecutively. Give me a list of things to do and bang, bang, bang they're done.
Now I know some of you might think I'm full of crap. Here's a link to a little test which will show you just how well you, yourself, can multitask. I tried it. I failed. It's a little like trying to brush your teeth and put your eye makeup on at the same time, not that I wear eye makeup, but I'm sure you'll understand if you try the test. Evidently only about 2% of the population can actually multitask, and that number includes both men and women. This means that all of those pudding heads out there who want to believe that we men, with our compartmentalized brains, are just the slightest bit inferior to women, well... you're full of pudding.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Acronym Hell
I've been thinking a lot about acronyms lately. We use some of them so often they have become words unto themselves. Take NASA, for example. I'm sure if you asked people on the street what those four letters stood for you'd get a lot of wrong answers. Does it make a difference if some people think it's an Agency and others an Administration? Or that the first two letters do not stand for North American? Not a bit. Everybody know what NASA does, just as they know what the CIA and the FBI do. Acronyms save you time, it's easier to say NASA then National Air and Space Administration. There are some acronyms, however, which seem to have been created by lazy pudding heads. Take POTUS, for example, an acronym for President of the United States. I think this is pretty freaking stupid. If you're an American citizen living in the United States, and you're talking to someone about the President, you're not going to use POTUS unless you want to sound like an ass. Everybody knows which president you're talking about. You do not need to clarify which president.
And then there's FLOTUS (First Lady of the United States). What kind dick calls her that? Yet I was checking out the headlines on the MSNBC website and there it was - FLOTUS, not First Lady. I live in Pennsylvania and we have, as does every other state, a Governor. When his wife is introduced at functions she is called the First Lady of Pennsylvania. Maybe, instead of calling her that, they should call her the FLOP. Shouldn't the same principles be applied to every First Lady of every state? Do you see where I'm coming from?
Then, of course, there is the SCOTUS.
And then there's FLOTUS (First Lady of the United States). What kind dick calls her that? Yet I was checking out the headlines on the MSNBC website and there it was - FLOTUS, not First Lady. I live in Pennsylvania and we have, as does every other state, a Governor. When his wife is introduced at functions she is called the First Lady of Pennsylvania. Maybe, instead of calling her that, they should call her the FLOP. Shouldn't the same principles be applied to every First Lady of every state? Do you see where I'm coming from?
Then, of course, there is the SCOTUS.
Justice Scalia tries to cure SCOTUS with broccoli |
The first thing that crossed my mind when I heard SCOTUS had nothing to do with the Supreme Court. I thought the reporter had mistakenly dropped a consonant and was speaking about male genitalia. When I understood my mistake I new for certain that Pudding Heads abound. Think about it? Doesn't SCOTUS sound like some weird testicular fungus? Something Justice Scalia might truly be suffering from? Or Justice Thomas? Sounds a bit vulgar, doesn't it? The sort of thing our parents might whisper about a bad neighbor? "I hear he has scotus." I know some people might disagree with me, but I think it definitely doesn't describe the highest court in the country.
For the most part, I believe this is just one of those crazy fads which sweeps through the halls of Journalism from time to time. Some pudding head some where was trying to be cool and catchy. I doubt very much if the general public is going to adopt POTUS, and FLOTUS, and SCROTUS... I mean SCOTUS into their vocabulary. It will pass. But until it does we will have to endure this acronym hell.
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Sunday, May 4, 2014
Asparagus Pee and the GOP
Because asparagus is one of my favorite vegetables, I usually eat it at least once a month, sometimes more often, depending upon how fresh it looks at the supermarket. As always, when I went to the bathroom an hour or so later I smelled the now familiar asparagus pee. I did a little research and the source of the odor is something called asparagustic acid, which is created during digestion. About 60% of all of the people who eat asparagus get to smell this perfume. Science is split on whether the other 40% either have sniffers which fail to detect the odor, or manage to suppress it. I think they just have bad sniffers, just like a lot of the members of the GOP. If you ask me, this is pretty obvious especially when you consider John Boehner's decision this past week to create a 'special committee' to investigate Benghazi. He evidently doesn't realize how stinky that issue has become. Sure, many of the GOP's base did achieve hands free orgasms when he made the announcement, but, like the 40% claiming they don't smell their asparagus pee, these voters don't smell a thing. One can only surmise they are still beating this dead horse because mid-term elections are coming up and they want to keep their majority in the House.
I understand where they're coming from: they used heavy artillery to try and take down Obamacare and failed. Not only did they fail, they made the party look bad. Now that the Affordable Care Act is up and running, with something like 7.5 million Americans enrolled, we see that the economy hasn't collapsed. In fact, Friday's unemployment figures proved it is still growing. Their arguments against it failed to materialize. They need something to attack both the Presidency and the Democratic Party and all they have is Benghazi. I can tell you, after talking to some people at work, bringing up Benghazi is some real stinky pee. Nobody cares because it's old news. The problem is the GOP desperately wants a life preserver yet the only thing they have to grab onto are rocks. It's like they are eating asparagus with every meal and all the while claiming 'my pee don't stink.' It does, and you don't need to be in the same bathroom to smell it.
Friday, May 2, 2014
An Uncompromising Friday
Well, it's Friday and it's a crappy day. You would have thought that by May 2 it would be warmer, that April's cloudy, showery days would be over, but they aren't. They're still hanging around. I took a vacation day today for several reasons, one being to get some yard work finished. How many of those chores will be completed? Probably not as many as I had hoped. This was also the day when Zimmerman's came for the annual service on my Central Air unit, which required the heat be turned off and the A/C turned on. At 0800 my house was a chilly 55 degrees. I have two Boxers which are big and bouncy, and since not everybody is comfortable with big and bouncy I usually herd them outside when the service technician is inside and bring them in when he works outside unit. And the temperature in my house was a chilly 55 degrees, and it took him an hour and a half to do what the other technicians have done in an hour. Of course, upon completion there was the stand 15 minute discourse on all the 'upgrades' I should consider. He even went so far as to check my dryer vent to see if I needed to schedule a 'Vent Cleaning' which, because I'm on the service plan, would only cost me $75. After I declined I had to initial a small box to indicate I'd been made aware of the service and chose against it. My Vet does the same thing when I choose not to buy my Frontline from them. It's a subtle form on intimidation since it puts the blame on you in case anything goes wrong. I told you, it's a crappy Friday.
Some place in the village |
The temptation is there to pick up the controller and spend some time on a game. Right now I'm killing my way through Crysis 3, a FPS which takes place in a post-apocalyptic, domed Manhattan. Fun stuff. I'm not that bad at 'first person shooters,' a lot better then you might think for someone in my age group. It's all part of my plan for aging. The results are not in completely, but some studies indicate that there is a correlation between video games and 'hand/eye coordination', something you don't want to lose as you get older.
Of course, if the sun chose to come out I'd feel more like working outside, well, not really. I'm a morning person. I get as much done in the morning as possible because I know that by the time the afternoon rolls around I'm going to want to do anything but work. I was up at 0530 and got pretty much done, but then the clouds began moving in, and the service tech, who was schedule for between 0730 and 0830 showed at at 0820 and didn't leave until 1030. Since then the day has been in a slow downward spiral.
I'm ready for summer, and I have this feeling it might end up being cool and rainy, a bad bookend for the bad winter we just had. On days like this all I want to do is snooze, eat ice cream, and play video games... is that such a bad life? No. But I did really want it to be sunny today. I need to get the weed wacker out and start ripping the hell out of the fence line, otherwise the verge will overwhelm it.
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