Will you fail at multitasking?

I've written about this before, mostly regarding people who drive and talk on their phones at the same time.  There are many who think multitasking isn't as difficult as it seems, especially if you happen to be female.  This is because some pudding head researchers have deduced that men and women think differently.  Men compartmentalize their activities completing one before moving on to the next.  Women, on the other hand, don't compartmentalize.  As a result many of them think they can multitask, like brush their teeth and put on eye makeup at the same time.  That, I think, would be really funny to watch.  Anyway, there are a lot of people out there, both men and women, who feel they can drive and talk on the phone at the same time.  Surprise, you're wrong.  Think of it this way, if you're involved in a casual phone conversation where you only need to respond minimally, you're driving the same as if you'd just had two or three glasses of wine, say a good Shiraz.  This doesn't mean you're beginning to weave back and forth, it's just that your concentration is just not there.  The more detailed your phone conversation the worse your driving becomes.

This is not me

I'll be the first to admit that I don't multitask well at all.  If you don't want to believe me, you can ask the people I work with, they'll be too happy to corroborate.  However, I can get quite a number of tasks done if work on them consecutively.  Give me a list of things to do and bang, bang, bang they're done.

Now I know some of you might think I'm full of crap.  Here's a link to a little test which will show you just how well you, yourself, can multitask.  I tried it.  I failed.  It's a little like trying to brush your teeth and put your eye makeup on at the same time, not that I wear eye makeup, but I'm sure you'll understand if you try the test.  Evidently only about 2% of the population can actually multitask, and that number includes both men and women.  This means that all of those pudding heads out there who want to believe that we men, with our compartmentalized brains, are just the slightest bit inferior to women, well... you're full of pudding.

Multi-tasking failures

A few years ago studies came out proving that women were better at multi-tasking then men.  We compartmentalize.  This does not mean we can't multi-task, just that men work better when the start a project, finish it and move on to the next.  Women jumped on these studies using them to justify their superiority in certain areas.  Now, I'm not one to disregard these studies, I've seen women talk on the phone and perform data entry at the same time.  However, I will also add that their data entry numbers increased when they weren't talking on the phone.  What this tells me is that, while it's true women can multi-task better then men, the complexity of those tasks does come into play.  Would you want your heart surgeon making reservations for dinner while she's opening up your chest?  Of course, it doesn't have to be a heart surgeon, it could be a dentist.  Would you want your dentist making dinner reservations while she's filling one of your cavities?  Would you want your hair stylist making an appointment to take her dog to the Vet while she's cutting your hair?  Hell no!  Now I know there are some out there who are going to point out that these are professionals and it's totally unprofessional to talk on the phone when you're with a customer, or a client, or a patient.  So, let me phrase this differently.  Would you want the woman in the car behind you talking on the phone?  If you think there's nothing wrong with that, then you're an idiot.

I bring this up because twice yesterday women talking on the phone, while driving, demonstrated unsafe behavior.  I always take I81 over to my Mom's because it cuts the driving time in half.  Just past the Progress Road exit a middle aged woman pulled in behind me.  She got close.  How close?  So close I couldn't see the front of her car in my rear view mirror.  I could clearly see, however, that she was talking on the phone.  I don't like people sitting on my ass when I drive so I shifted into the left lane to let her pass.  To my surprise, she followed me.  That's when I realized in order for her to multi-task, to drive her car and talk on her phone at the same time, she needed to be really, really close to the car in front of her.  That way she could focus on her conversation and not her driving skills.  What would have happened if I had needed to slam on my brakes?  I have no doubt, at the speed I was driving, she would have died... for a phone call.

Fantasy bullshit

Four hours later I had to hit my brakes in order to keep from being hit by a young woman who turned right in front of me.  She too was talking on her phone.  I was going west on Cumberland Road and she was going east and she turned on to Altoona.  Maybe, had she used her turn signal, I would have had some indication she was going to turn.  Unfortunately there was no turn signal and I did have to hit my brakes, and she was talking on her phone.  

Now I have no doubt that were I to ask either of these women if they were good drivers both would assert that fact.  Just as I have no doubt they believe being women means they can drive and talk on the phone at the same time because they can multi-task.  This is horse shit.  The more complicated the tasks become, the more difficult it is to perform two or more at the same time.  The picture above demonstrates my point completely.  If that toddler were screaming and hitting her with his fists, there is no way she could talk on the phone, let alone reach for an egg to fry.  That picture is a fantasy women have been using to enable their limited capabilities.  

Of course there a men who drive cars and talk on their phones, too, and they are just as stupid, I just haven't run into any of them lately.