My Mom

At 0641 yesterday morning, just after I posted my blog, Greenfield Senior Facility called me.  They have called me before this early to tell me my Mom had fallen.  Not yesterday morning.  "Dave, I'm sorry to tell you that your Mom has died.  We found her lying on the floor of her room."
When I was 9 years old my Mom had electroshock therapy.  Her temper was most often taken out on me.  My childhood was not good.
She became very self centered and demanding as she grew older.  My Dad and I would go to movies and she would call and criticize the film.  She had no problem criticizing you, or trying to make you feel guilty.  She was very good at that.
I went by myself to the Funeral Directors this afternoon.  My sister doesn't deal with well with these things.  My brother was on his way back from vacation in North Carolina.  For the reading inside the program I chose a poem I love.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

BY ROBERT FROST

Whose woods these are I think I know.   

His house is in the village though;   

He will not see me stopping here   

To watch his woods fill up with snow.   

My little horse must think it queer   

To stop without a farmhouse near   

Between the woods and frozen lake   

The darkest evening of the year.   

He gives his harness bells a shake   

To ask if there is some mistake.   

The only other sound’s the sweep   

Of easy wind and downy flake.   

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep,   

And miles to go before I sleep.

My brother did not think it was religious enough.  "She was a very devout Christian," he said.  My reply "I've had a really shitty day and I was there by myself and I picked what I liked."

My Mom died yesterday and I had to cry.  My sister cried, too.  My brother also cried... and complained because I chose a verse that wasn't Christian.  You know it would have been nice if she had at least once looked me in the eye and said "I'm sorry for being so abusive."  Never happened.  Instead she found Jesus who forgave her sins without her ever needing to ask forgiveness from those she'd hurt the most.