Compensate this

So, Sunday was the last day of our fiscal half - our store was #3.  Our Success Sharing (bonus) has always been calculated on fiscal halves - we get 2 per year.  That is changing, however.  Now they're are calculating it on the quarter.  Our store was #1 for the quarter.  We're are going to get a big bonus... maybe.  From what I've heard this is just going to be for the quarter, not the half... so, what happened to the first quarter of 2018?  A 3 month bonus is going to be less than a 6 month bonus.  Oh, and we're going to be getting this 4 times a year, as long as the store makes plan (forecast, or budget, use the word of your choice). 
While some are dancing around like they were wearing their very expensive glee sneakers, I'm scratching my head.  You see, I read financials.  There's a growing trend  among corporations to treat frequent bonuses as part of an associates yearly compensation package, rather than as a 'bonus.'  This turns it into a payroll expense which, in turn, effects your yearly increase.  By using these 'bonuses,' companies will, in reality, reduce that expense.  It works like this:  Say your yearly increase amounts to $2000 and (if your store performs up to par) your bonus is $800.  They take that $800 and deduct it from the $2000 leaving you with an actual increase of $1200.  This is legitimized, in their minds, by saying it is now your responsibility for your store's sales.  Wall Street likes this approach.  Some stores will make out well, others will not.  What it really means is that a lot of people will get lower raises.
Oh, and in case you didn't hear me yesterday, I suddenly burst into loud, almost hysterical laughter.  Why?  A headline in the WSJ.  I was sitting next to our Customer Service Rep when my phone buzzed.  It does that with breaking news flashes.  To my amazement, I saw that Bob, in posting his Sunday Funnies, had revealed one of the cartoonists to be a Gypsy Fortune Teller.  This one right here:

Holy Shit!  The Idiot Jerk in the White House wants to have a 'sit down' with Iran.  Doesn't he remind you of the lowest form of life possible?  Anything for attention, for a chance to get his name in the headlines, to feed his ego.  My money says he'd eat a scumbag if he thought it would garner him headlines.  Like a washed up actor, he'll perform in anything for any price.

Chaste

Well, here it is, Sunday morning and the dogs are chasing each other around downstairs with a squeaky toy - probably one of the purple squirrels.  Of course, they don't know that it's a purple squirrel, they're dogs, all they know is that when they squeeze it in their mouths it squeaks.  Needless to say, even though they have several purple squirrels (and a purple chipmunk) they're only interested in one at a time.
Did my weight training this AM.  40 Minutes - not bad.  For good measure I threw in some squats... I hate squats, however, they do help to keep the buttocks shapely.
I also have a weird schedule today.  Split shift.  This evening is our Success Sharing meeting - that's when we get our bonus checks.  Normally, because I have Direct Deposit, I can see what's going into my account before I even get the check (deposit notice), but not this time.  They're keeping it secret.  I hope that means it's going to be a good one, I need to start moving money into my 'tax' account for this year's real estate taxes.
About a year ago I started putting words together, fiction.  I've started giving bits and pieces out to friends to get some sort of feedback.  This may get interesting.

An attractive, well kept lawn

My friend Patty's birthday was yesterday... that's right, she was born on... St Patty's Day.  For a birthday present she'll get a free movie.  She's said something about wanting to see Death Wish (heavy duty sigh).  Rotten Tomatoes gives it a paltry 17% rating - that's not good.  So maybe I'll take he to see "The Greatest Showman," which, surprisingly, is still playing.   If that's what we see, it'll be the first time I've every paid money to see a Zac Efron movie...  actually, I don't think I've ever seen a Zac Efron movie and I'm wondering if, perhaps, maybe I should remain chaste in regard to this one.

A momentary bonus

Well, it's Friday and I'm off today.
I ordered the new laptop, a Dell Inspiron 5000, 2018 model.  I read a number of reviews, checked out a number of different websites, and debated with myself over the price point.  Some of the things I wanted were a touch screen and an SSD (solid state drive) rather than your standard Hard Drive, and wanted a screen size that was over 15 inches (since I'm getting older and don't want to squint).  Since most computers are approaching obsolescence after 6 years I decided to keep the cost to something less than $1000.  This one is quite a bit less than what I was willing to pay and fits my requirements.
They announced at work yesterday that because of this great "tax cut" everybody's getting a bonus.  Not everybody is getting the same amount, it all depends upon how long you've been an employee;

Less than 2 years: $200 bonus
2 to 4 years: $250 bonus
5 to 9 years: $300 bonus
10 to 14 years: $400 bonus
15 to 19 years: $750 bonus
20+ years: $1,000 bonus

Of course the press release only mentions the $1000 category and not the lower ones.  I've been with company 9.5 years so you can see where I sit.  Keep in mind that retail has a high turnover rate so the actual number of associates with 10 plus years is not that high.  Keep in mind that we had over $94.6 billion in sales last year so this total payout will have very little, if any, effect on their balance sheet, and while I'm glad to get a little extra money, I do wish they hadn't politicized it by linking it to the tax overhaul.  As we've all been told, this is a once and done payout; that tax cut is permanent.

In other hoo haa news:  Patrick Meehan, the socially conservative, Republican congressman who used office funds as hush money to keep an aide he had the hots for from talking, has announced "after much prayer and reflection" that he's not going to seek re-election.  In this bozos case "prayer and reflection" are synonymous with "Holy Shit... am I screwed."

Also, George Soros sees the Idiot Jerk as a threat to the world.  In fact, he had this to say:

“I consider the Trump administration a danger to the world,” the billionaire investor said in a speech from Davos, Switzerland. “But I regard it as a purely temporary phenomenon that will disappear in 2020, or even sooner.” He expects a Democratic “landslide” in the 2018 elections.

Well, now ain't that just a ducky thing to say? Don't you like the bit about 'even sooner.'  One wonders if George might know something.

And remember when I said there were 2 strikes against the Social Conservatives (Joel Osteen, failed Christian, and Roy Moore, sexual predator)?  Well the 3rd might have actually been Tony Perkins from the 'hate' group AFC giving the Idiot Jerk a pass on the porn star.  Talk about selling your soul to the devil.  But then all of this was to be expected.  Bad karma, you know?  And they thought getting the Idiot jerk elected was going to be a big bonus for them.