Odd Humor at the Paint Desk

Yesterday morning I noticed a young woman looking at colors over at our Color Wall and so I did what all of my associates are supposed to do, went over and offer my assistance.  As I said she was young, probably early 30's, blond, and wearing an enormous engagement ring and wedding band.  Oh, and she was also wearing a Romney / Ryan T-shirt.  We don't care about an individual's politics at the paint desk, we'll sell it to any one.  Anyway, when I asked if I could help her she said she was looking for a specific color: Timber.  She'd said she'd pull a paint swatch from the wall a while back and wanted to look at it again to verify it was the color she wanted.  I immediately went to the computer and did a Color Search for Timber. Indeed, there to color Timber is in our system, however the ID code was MS-05.  I'm not familiar with that code and I knew for a fact that we'd never had a swatch for Timber on our color wall.  Of course, she wouldn't believe me.  So I pulled out several fan decks from different paint manufacturers and showed her none of them carried the color Timber. She gave me a "woe is me" sigh and said, "well, I guess I'll have to pick another color."  A few minutes later she left.

An hour or so later my associate Bill showed up and I asked him about the color Timber.  He went through the same process I did to no avail. About 2 hours later he snapped his fingers and said "I know."  He went down to our exterior aisle and came back with a two page brochure, opened it up and pointed to the color Timber.  MS stand for Masonry / Stucco.  He said "we've never had that color on the wall."  So I told him about her T-shirt.  He said "well, maybe she's never going to get anything right."

Grammy's fail

True to form, I did not watch the Grammy Awards this past Sunday.  From what I've read, I don't believe I missed much, except for Daft Punk.  Space suits and helmets - yeah!  Evidently Beyoncé wore lace - who cares?  Not me.  I don't own a single Beyoncé tune.  So I didn't miss that.  The "Same Love" performance probably seemed like a good idea to a few people yet I think it was probably a mistake.  Just because a small number of states (what is it?  12) have legalized same sex marriage doesn't mean the vast majority of the viewing audience really wanted to see 33 couples getting married on live TV.  It makes no difference if some of the couples were straight and some were gay, this is not something the American audience may not be ready to see in Prime Time, so don't shove it down their throats.  then, for some bizarre reason, they included that media whore Madonna.  If I remember correctly, this woman recently exploited her son on Instagram to keep her name in the spotlight - sounded a bit desperate to me.

Going above and beyond

Then there was the faux Beatle reunion.  I had heard rumors this was going to take place and, for a moment, thought of turning on the broadcast just to watch this historic moment.  But then reason took over.  Would I really get a chance to see the two surviving Beatles do a quick medley of three or four of their songs?  Logic dictated otherwise.  Yoko Ono stupidly sold the Beatle catalog for about 400 million.  The stupid woman did not realize the Beatles were not just another boy band so somebody else (maybe Sony?) owns the rights.  This grates Paul to no end.  Besides, Paul is dealing with his own ego, he is Sir Paul McCartney you know, and he is still writing and recording music very few people buy.  So, I suspect when the suggestion was first broached to him about a possible reunion with Ringo, the first thought that went through his pinhead was "hey, I can play one of my new songs."  The idea that the two of them doing a medley of Beatle songs would make history and, most likely, shatter the Twitter universe probably never occurred to him.  Missing Paul McCartney, with his puffy face and puffy hair, and Ringo Starr (looking pretty good for his age) playing McCartney's latest non-hit meant I missed nothing.  This is why I don't waste 3 hours of my life watching the Garmmy's.

What a combination, Romney and ME3

This has been a bad month on the job line for me, not because I'm losing mine, no, my schedule is all topsy-turvy thanks to meetings and classes and more meetings.  I can't wait for October to get here so things can quiet down... a little, and I can get back to a regular schedule.

On a whole I'd have to say this past week was on the funny side.  I got to watch some of the secret Mitt Romney tapes and, were I a critic, would have to call them boring and uninspired.  If you've seen any of them then you know, he rambles on and on and on totally avoiding anything substantial.  I saw where the dude who threw the fundraiser is blaming the "help."  How Republican.  My suspicion is that he, himself, taped the dinner for posterity only to discover Romney is the personification of droll.

Ann Romney's plane had to land because of smoke.  Later she whined about being a candidate's wife.  What did she think this was going to be?  A Sunday Social?

Paul Ryan got booed by Seniors and then, from one of the news clips I read, went on to lie about his percentage of body fat.

Boo, baby, Boo

Quite a number of Republicans are unhappy with the campaign, including Laura Ingram, and the want it shaken up.  I'm sure they must realize by now shaking is not going to help.  They did pay attention to their own primaries, didn't they?  Mitt basically won by default because the other candidates were just to crazily far to the right.

One of the really funny things was Ralph Reed telling Evangelicals they should vote for Romney.  Isn't that going against your faith?  Could this indicate Ralph wants a heretic in the White House?  Or, is it possible he's an White Supremacist in disguise?  Perhaps he doesn't understand that if Mitt gets elected Mormon Missionaries will swarm out of Salt Lake City like a plague of locusts.

And for all of you gamers out there, the real shocker was Bioware putting forth a statement which, and I paraphrase, states that the Mass Effect Universe is large and there are more stories to tell.  I said something similar back in... May?

Back then everybody was running around like their hair was on fire because they didn't like the ending of ME3.  Why is this funny?  Because you don't kill off your golden goose and everybody was sure Bioware had loped off its head.  I said that and nobody listened.  Now I read on Gamestop, or maybe it was Rock, Paper, Shotgun that the original team is either reassembling, or has reassembled.  Surprise.

Chris Christie - porker deluxe

Well, the Republican convention is in full swing and conservatives, both young and old and far right and not so far right, are celebrating.  I don't watch conventions.  Too much of the hoopla is geared specifically for swinging Independent voters and because of that you get very little substance.  I did have to laugh the other evening when I saw a clip of Ann and Mitt Romney and she said he buys his shirts at Costco and "just the last night was ironing his own shirt."  Seriously, Mitt is in the 'upper class' and if his friends thought he actually went to Costco they would smirk at him silently, well, maybe not so silently.  And the idea of him ironing a shirt?  His walk-in closet is probably the size of a modest ranch style home and no doubt at least one room is completely devoted to shirts.  Evidently Ann spoke again last evening as well as New Jersey Governor Chris Christie.  His name was bandied about quite a lot as a possible Vice President.  Conservatives love his no nonsense approach.  He does have one flaw though, and it's a big one.  Chris Christie is fat.

Porker deluxe

I would not be surprised if that was the main reason he was not asked to be Mitt's running mate.  One can only wonder how many medications he is on:  blood pressure, cholesterol, probably one of the anti-coagulants because humans this size are more likely to have a stroke or heart attack.  Doesn't he know there is surgery which can help solve his problem?  If he ever wants to posture on the world's stage he's going to have to slim down, a lot.  Paul Ryan needs to get him excited about P90x!

Wanna be P90x spokesman

Well, it's probably going to take more then P90x.  When you're as fat as Chris Christie you've spent a life time building rotten eating habits and have never really bothered to exercise and, at this point in his life, it's probably way too late to change.  Just think, if he were 200 pounds lighter he might have been Mitt Romney's Vice Presidential candidate.