Bongo Bongo in the Brains

Wednesday.  There is a Polar Vortex descending upon us.  That means it's going to get cold.  It was 12(F) when I went out shoveled the snow from my sidewalks.  It wasn't that bad, but then there was no wind.  When the wind does get here, all that fluffy snow will blow away.
So, I got an email from Cymax late yesterday afternoon... you know?   The desk people?  The greeting was:  "We hope this email finds you well."  Basically, what they've done is Capitulated, a lot like the Idiot Jerk in the White House.

Regarding your inquiry, we have contacted the carrier and have them deliver the item and have it unpack and also help you bring it inside. Please keep your lines open as they will contact you soon to schedule a delivery.

They've been consistent with their spelling and grammatical errors, so I suspect this is not an English speaking company.
And, of course, yesterday our top three Intelligence people in the country said the Idiot Jerk in the White House is Bongo Bongo in the Brains.  

Perhaps if he sat in on briefings he might understand.  Or better yet, have that comedy troupe known as Fox and Friends sit in on the briefings in order for them to talk about our National Security on TV.  He might pay attention to them, as long as they keep mentioning his name.
And, talking about people being Bongo in the Brains, what about that Howard Schultz?  He used to be the CEO for Starbucks... you know?  The company that sells fluffy coffee.  Howie is a billionaire.  He and his wife have given almost $400,000 to Democratic candidates.  To put that into perspective, if Howie made $100,000 a year, that would be a $4 campaign contribution.  But then he's not really a Democrat.  He's an Independent, at least that's what Howie claims.  What Howie really wants is to protect his billionaire status as well as his own self-interests.  He's Bongo Bongo in the brains.  The last thing America needs right now is another self-serving billionaire businessman in the White House.  While he may not be as stupid as the Idiot Jerk, his greed runs just as deep.

On Apple Heads and Starbucks

In my store, the paint desk is located directly across from the registers at the Front End and, as such, we tend to talk back and forth with each other when things are slow.  Yesterday, while I was waiting for a gallon of paint to finish mixing, Jesse, the Front End Supervisor, came over and said, "Hey, did you hear about my Starbucks?"  Now, she loves her Starbucks iced coffees; drinks at least one a day.  "Nah," I said, shaking my head.
"Well," she started explaining, "I stopped off this morning and picked up my usual coffee and lemon sesame roll (it was lemon sesame something or other, it may not have been a roll)."  Anyway, she'd started her work day by pulling up her figures on the computer back in the training room, something we all do, while eating her roll (?).  She then came front and, after setting her coffee down near self-checkout, grabbed the schedule and proceeded from register to register (12 altogether) making sure everybody had enough change and verifying breaks and lunches.  This took her about a half hour.  Returning to self-checkout, she discovered her empty Starbucks cup in the trash.  In a fairly loud voice she asked "Does anybody know what happened to my Starbucks?"
Evidently there was a long, quiet pause so she repeated the question and finally, Phyllis, a 71 year old cashier, who bears a marked resemblance to one of those apple head dolls, asked  "Starbucks?" as she walked from her register to self-checkout.  "Was that yours?  I thought a customer had left that behind and, since I was thirsty, I drank it."

A close resemblance to Phyllis

That's right, she thought a stranger had left behind a half empty Starbucks coffee and because she was thirsty she drank it.  A stranger's coffee.  Just think about that for a minute or two.  Let the images whirl around in your head as you imagine a stranger's coffee swirling down your own throat.

Okay, that's enough thinking.

Anyway, Phyllis said "they're expensive, aren't they?" before giving the whole incident a minor shrug and without offering to pay for the coffee, headed back to her register.  A lesson was learned by many.  And, since I don't drink Starbucks, I don't have to worry about thirsty Phyllis.