The Train Wreck is a'commin'

 Let the new week begin!

Yesterday was so, so busy at the store.  Because of call-offs, though, I spent the last 3 hours of my shift as a cashier.  Thanks to my previous stints in management and HR, they paid dearly for that 180 minutes.  Not that I minded.  Thirteen years ago, as International Paper was on the verge of shutting down xpedx, its distributary branch, I began my career with the orange, home improvement retailer as a part-time cashier.

When I checked my email this morning, there was a notice from Dell that my Alienware computer, due to arrive on May 12, was shipping early.  The new arrival date is this Friday, April 15.  Now, isn't it a good thing I'm scheduled off?  Usually I end up going into work late, or calling off when ever a big ticket item is getting delivered.

And even though the editing is going full steam on The Body in Repose, I'm also working on The Body Under Ice.  There are a number of lyrics used in The Body in Repose because there were numerous situations where they fit in.  Such frequent occasions don't arise in the new book, though I'm fairly certain there's going to be a karaoke night at Hennepin's.  Now, if you've read some of my work, you probably know Max Sullivan can not dance.  He doesn't even come close to having a sense of rhythm.  But can he sing?  You'll have to wait until karaoke night at Hennepin's to find out.  And what might he happen to sing?  How about this little ditty?

And, of course, Liz Cheney dropped a little bomb yesterday.  I'm sure the January 6 committee has so much shit on Trump.  At least 2 charges might be sent to the DOJ.  Will they actually arrest him?  Probably not.  He will leave before that happens.  Next month the shit the committee has gathered will start to float to the surface.  Where as the Benghazi hearings were nothing more than red meat for the Republican base, Americans across the board will find these hearings fascinating.  People like to slow down when they pass an automobile accident; they want to catch a glimpse of the morbid, grizzly details.  These hearings are going to be a demoralizing train wreck for the GOP.  People are going to look at the corruption leading up to the insurrection, and scratching their heads, and saying 'you've got to be fucking kidding me.'

A tale of 2 Johns... and this

I have 2 Johns working for me, one older and retired and a bit of a curmudgeon, the other younger, a school teacher who needs to always be petted.  This past weekend we chose our Cashier of the Month and the award went to the older John.  He pissed and moaned, but was obviously tickled pink.  One of the things we do for the Cashier of the Month is have everybody sign and apron, at the end of the month it goes to the Cashier.  So I take the apron to John the Younger and he says "I don't sign aprons," and, of course, my response was "well, you're not a very good team player, are you?"  And I got the glare of death.  Like I said, young John likes to be petted, he likes to be the center of attention, he drops names to impress people.  He ended up signing the apron, but I suspect he's now shifting into death spiral mode in regard to his job as a cashier.  He's just not special enough.
Anyway, on our Prez elect, I saw this thing called Trumplethinskin which couldn't be more apropos.

I mean, there are so many holy crap moments, from Pizzagate (Flynn Junior is another asshole at large) to reading that DeVos education agenda is dead on arrival, to the Secretary of State selection fiasco, and all of it show off our new Prez-elect's incompetence.  Accountability is not something he is very good at.

Work and Politics

Well, two opening shifts and 2 days without blogging and I'm back, you know, those 0300 mornings are bad if you're not working them regularly.
I have a Head Cashier who believes "she must be obeyed" in everything, that "she" sets down the rules, such as highlighting an associate's name in green on the schedule when they are at work, and in pink when whey call off.  When I told her she didn't need to highlight, she could just put a line through their name if there weren't here, she bristled.  I didn't tell her I'd had complaints from 3 other Head Cashiers about her inability to be flexible, all I said was that she needed to be less rigid.  She replied, "I'm not being rigid, I'm consistent."  Nope, not in the least bit, she wants to be in total control, in fact, she reminds me of someone who's never been in a management position turning into a dictator.  Another thing I didn't tell her is that management would have absolutely no problem with her handing in her two weeks notice.
And speaking of dictators, what about Trump?  Flip-flopping on immigration, eh?  And I understand some of his loyal Trumplodites have no problem with his change of heart.  Excuse me, but wasn't that one of his rally cries?  This is one of the many reasons why he'd be terrible in the White House, his sheep would follow him everywhere.  They'd do anything he wanted them to do.  Form a special police force?  You betcha.  Oh, wait, I can't say that.  Isn't that what that bimbodeer Sarah Palin used to say, isn't it?  You betcha.  Of course, would she sign up for that Trump police force?  You betcha.

Can you say Secret Police?

Anyway, I did watch Hillary's hate ad,  Very apropos, I thought.  I don't think Trump and his Trumplodites know just how baaaahd they are.

Work and Politics

Well, two opening shifts and 2 days without blogging and I'm back, you know, those 0300 mornings are bad if you're not working them regularly.
I have a Head Cashier who believes "she must be obeyed" in everything, that "she" sets down the rules, such as highlighting an associate's name in green on the schedule when they are at work, and in pink when whey call off.  When I told her she didn't need to highlight, she could just put a line through their name if there weren't here, she bristled.  I didn't tell her I'd had complaints from 3 other Head Cashiers about her inability to be flexible, all I said was that she needed to be less rigid.  She replied, "I'm not being rigid, I'm consistent."  Nope, not in the least bit, she wants to be in total control, in fact, she reminds me of someone who's never been in a management position turning into a dictator.  Another thing I didn't tell her is that management would have absolutely no problem with her handing in her two weeks notice.
And speaking of dictators, what about Trump?  Flip-flopping on immigration, eh?  And I understand some of his loyal Trumplodites have no problem with his change of heart.  Excuse me, but wasn't that one of his rally cries?  This is one of the many reasons why he'd be terrible in the White House, his sheep would follow him everywhere.  They'd do anything he wanted them to do.  Form a special police force?  You betcha.  Oh, wait, I can't say that.  Isn't that what that bimbodeer Sarah Palin used to say, isn't it?  You betcha.  Of course, would she sign up for that Trump police force?  You betcha.

Can you say Secret Police?

Anyway, I did watch Hillary's hate ad,  Very apropos, I thought.  I don't think Trump and his Trumplodites know just how baaaahd they are.

Jane's vagina

Well, yesterday was my first day in the new position and I... already had to yell at an associate.  I have a 77 year old woman working for me, whom I'll call Jane, who feels that her age entitles her to do what ever she wants.  Wrong.  She's a cashier, she needs to stay at her register.  Yesterday there were people waiting at her register and... she was nowhere to be found.  Oh, yeah, I found her, helping a customer at the paint desk.  So, I yelled at her.  She got mad, of course.  She doesn't understand she needs to follow the rules, but when you try and explain them to her or enforce them she cries "age discrimination."  This is how it goes.
Two months ago Jane was out on medical, she needed to have a minor surgical procedure done.  She told everybody that she had peed out her vagina.  That's right.  She said she knew this because she used a mirror to look, and that she knows what her vagina looks like.  Personally, I think she was looking at her ass and just didn't know the difference.

Jane's future with the giant retailer I work for looks rather dim.  This has nothing to do with age, but rather customer service and performance.  If you're 98 and can play by the rules, and do just an adequate job there's no problem.  Had she told any customers that she'd peed out her vagina she'd have been out the door.  She needs to stay at her register and not make people wait.  Retail can be relentless.

On Apple Heads and Starbucks

In my store, the paint desk is located directly across from the registers at the Front End and, as such, we tend to talk back and forth with each other when things are slow.  Yesterday, while I was waiting for a gallon of paint to finish mixing, Jesse, the Front End Supervisor, came over and said, "Hey, did you hear about my Starbucks?"  Now, she loves her Starbucks iced coffees; drinks at least one a day.  "Nah," I said, shaking my head.
"Well," she started explaining, "I stopped off this morning and picked up my usual coffee and lemon sesame roll (it was lemon sesame something or other, it may not have been a roll)."  Anyway, she'd started her work day by pulling up her figures on the computer back in the training room, something we all do, while eating her roll (?).  She then came front and, after setting her coffee down near self-checkout, grabbed the schedule and proceeded from register to register (12 altogether) making sure everybody had enough change and verifying breaks and lunches.  This took her about a half hour.  Returning to self-checkout, she discovered her empty Starbucks cup in the trash.  In a fairly loud voice she asked "Does anybody know what happened to my Starbucks?"
Evidently there was a long, quiet pause so she repeated the question and finally, Phyllis, a 71 year old cashier, who bears a marked resemblance to one of those apple head dolls, asked  "Starbucks?" as she walked from her register to self-checkout.  "Was that yours?  I thought a customer had left that behind and, since I was thirsty, I drank it."

A close resemblance to Phyllis

That's right, she thought a stranger had left behind a half empty Starbucks coffee and because she was thirsty she drank it.  A stranger's coffee.  Just think about that for a minute or two.  Let the images whirl around in your head as you imagine a stranger's coffee swirling down your own throat.

Okay, that's enough thinking.

Anyway, Phyllis said "they're expensive, aren't they?" before giving the whole incident a minor shrug and without offering to pay for the coffee, headed back to her register.  A lesson was learned by many.  And, since I don't drink Starbucks, I don't have to worry about thirsty Phyllis.

Self-checkout hell - not for everybody

As someone who works in retail I get to see a lot of customers, some are happy and some are not, some have valid complaints and others are trying to rook the system for as much as they can get out of it.  Because I have cashier training I get to work the register now and then, and also self-checkout.  The latter is far more enlightening when it comes to observing customers.  There are those who have absolutely no problem going through the self-checkout lanes, others skirt around them as if they were radioactive.  I, personally, prefer them over cashiers who always seem to be a little too slow, even though they're moving at a brisk pace.  I don't need time to connect with the person who's going to be taking my money because, well, they're taking my money.  If, now and then, a cashier might say "hey, everything you're buying today is free," I might change my mind, but that's never going to happen.

One of the excuses you hear from people who want to avoid self-checkout is "it's taking some body's job."  Sure, retailers could eliminate self-checkout and hire a lot more cashiers, but then prices would have to go up, and these same people would complain about that.  Payroll is the largest expense for any business, the more employees you hire the less money you make, this is a fact.  There is also a lot of down time for cashiers, not that they get to take breaks, they just have to wait for the next customer.  Nobody wants to pay an associate to stand around and bullshit, but it happens.  Remember, it's all about dollars, those you can bank and those you can't.

The demon self-checkout

In my opinion, most of those who complain about self-checkout do so because they're either unfamiliar or dis-like the technology (even those who piss and moan about the lost jobs).  You see this a lot when there is a line at the cashier, or there is some one going through line with a large order, and the customer has to either use the self-checkout or wait.  Believe me, there are a lot of people out there who really don't know what the hell they're doing.  Scanning a bar code is fairly simple, it's not brain surgery, yet I've seen people wave items, and shake items, zoom them past the scanner and right into the bag and... the item hasn't been scanned.  And then they stand there, and wait, and wait, even though nothings been scanned.  And then they call the attendant because there's something wrong with the scanner.  Or, they scan an item multiple times.  This is fairly common.  Then they complain, "this scanned it twice."  Last night I saw a woman scan a flashlight three times, and then she complained.  Of course it has to be the scanner's problem, the customer never does anything wrong. This, I think, is the main reason those who hate self-check out hate it.  If a cashier makes a mistake they can yell at the cashier, if they do it at self-checkout it's their fault, so they always opt for the cashier.  For these people self-checkout will always be hell and they will never get used to it.